


.Crashing.

by cHrizHasIssues



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Cutting, Frerard, Frerard Au, Kissing, M/M, Mikey Way - Freeform, Razors, Stopping, Wedding, crashing, frank iero - Freeform, gerard way - Freeform, on time, patrick stump - Freeform, pete wentz - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:02:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cHrizHasIssues/pseuds/cHrizHasIssues
Summary: 4 months after MCR had broken up, Gerard was gonna get married to Lindsey.Gerard had been happy with the band, but he wanted to focus on his comics and private life a bit more. The fans had taken it rough and was heart broken, but understanding. Gerard was still making music, but had more times to practice on his drawing skills.Frank had taken it roughly like the fans and was making angsty music. He had looked back on videos on youtube where the band was together, he even made a groupchat on twitter with Gerard, Ray and Mikey , to make sure that they at least didnt fell out of their precious friendship. Frank didnt have plans on strting a family soon even tho he was 29.His head was hurting everyday to think about the past and he still denied his feelings for Gerard, because he knew how wrong the feelings where.The only one who knew about was Pete Wentz, because ones at a party he and Pete was talking about the Way brothers and how much Pete was in deeply love with Mikey and how confused Frank felt about his feelings. Ever since then, he texted Pete everyday.But the day has come where he had to face the truth.Can he not cry at his friend´s wedding and look like a jealous brat?





	.Crashing.

**Author's Note:**

> Just starting to make some One-shots now.

Frank was drunk. Again. It was just a normal Friday evening with himself in his apartment where he lived alone. He hadn´t bothered to shave for a week and his hair was gross. His apartment smelled like smoke and alcohol. He had watched Netflix all week, barely getting any sleep and he felt like shit.

Sometimes he just layed on the floor doing absolute nothing.

He had invited Pete over, but he of course didnt know course he was drunk yesterday when he wrote the text message to Pete:

-Pete yaa coing ober tmorrw? pls-

The doorbell rang and Frank looked at the door, tried to ignore it, thinking it was that damn man who had offered him a flat box, those damn Pizza Hut lads wouldn´t leave him alone. After the third time the door bell had rang, Frank groaned and got up to open the door and seeing Pete.

´´What´re ya doing here Petey boi?´´Frank asked confused looking up and down of Pete. Pete had his nose wrinkled up in a disgusted look ´´You fuking smell disgusting Frank, did an apocolopse appear?´´ Pete only noticed Frank was drunk now. ´´Frank go take a bath, I´ll open the windows and clean up and make propper meals. God dammit.´´ Pete said, practually pushing Frank inside as he gagged at the smell of alcohol and smoke. He looked around the hall it looked fine, but oh god the smell was even worse in the living room there there was chinese take out boxes everywhere, cigeratte´s everywhere in every corner and the fukin bottles of Bailey and Jack Daniels. Frank was already in the bathroom when he looked in Frank´s room where all the drawings Gerard had made him where hanging. What made Pete concerned was the stained blood on the floor, he then saw the razor and took it up. Pete had to call someone, he couldn´t handle cleaning up and talk serious with Frank at the same time and he was about to call Patrick he looked into a drawer where there was a whole collection of razors. 

Pete called Patrick and he came over as quick as possible. He greeted him with a hug and they cleaned up together, Pete had told Patrick about the razors. Frank got out of the bathroom with a towell around his waist. He looked at Patrick and then around his living room, he was a bit sobered up and he felt lightheaded. ´´Wow, thanks Pete and.. Patrick, you guys really didnt have to clean up that much..´´ Pete turned and looked serious at Frank, but then Pete glanced down at Franks wrist, he noticed and backed into the bathroom, ´´Oh silly me, I- uh, I forgot to shave-´´ ´´Frank Anthony Thomas Jr.!!´´ Pete said yelling a bit. Frank stopped and sighed, looking down not wanting to meet the caring eyes. ´´Frank, what´s going on? Tell me please. I was gonna take you out shopping for a set to Gerard and Lindsey´s wedding, but we need you to get back to actually taking care of yourself. Y´know how obvious those -All I want is nothing- and -Oceans- songs you made were pointing towards Gerard?. Frank you´re not over him. Right?`` Frank gulped and was still not responding.

He didn´t know his songs where that obvious, was it as abvious as the album Pete made to Mikey? Probably, he was just venting and trying out some stuff and then he got the most obvious parts out of the text out, but what would have been better is if he just didnt make the songs. He had still not accepted his feelings towards one of his best friends. Nobody should have known about his little man-crush. He needed to find a girlfriend he could force himself to love. But it was hard, ecpecially when Gerard was instantly on his mind, holding in his feelings had gotten him depressed and had made him an alcoholic. They only had, had stage gay as a relationship, Gerard had Lindsey and was happy with her, he didn´t need a short lil shit like Frank, he deserved the best. He was so deep in thouhts he was beginning to have a anic attack where he was hyperventelating. Pete had made Frank sit down and had gotten him a glass of water.

He noticed the small cut on Franks neck right above the scorpion tattoo, he gulped, had Frank really been that depressed he was suicidal. Patrick was making some food and Pete got back to cleaning, he had thrown all the razors away he could find. He had got Mikey to buy some new clothes to Frank. All Franks clothes where ripped and cut through and was stained in blood. Frank was sleeping on the floor while Pete was cleaning the couch. The air was beginning to freshen up when Mikey arrived with the new cloth for Frank, Frank had woke up and was sipping at the soup Patrick had made while the three of them was watching some Disney movies, Franks mind was still a big fog and he craved the dizzy feeling of the alcohol. He neded to feel warm again and he was shaken, Mikey had walked into the room and had wrinkled his nose by the still not-so-fresh air. Mikey looked at Frank and then looked at Pete and Patrick, Pte got up and lead Mikey into the kitchen to talk to him about Frank.   
When they returned Mikey´s eyes weren´t leaving Franks head, he had concern in his eyes, he sat down besides Franka and took an arm arond him.

Frank felt a warm presence besides him as he looked into Mikey´s eyes, brown, like Gerard´s. He quickly looked away as he yawned. 

When he woke up he smelled coffee and a small scent of smoke. He hadn´t had a smoke since the evening yesterday. He looked up in the ceiling where there was a hole from a hook there was there a time. When he was so suicdal he had been standing on the couch ready to jump when a Pizza Hut guy had saved him from doing it, and that evening he spent eating pizza with the Pizza Hut guy while venting out to him, he had been nice and all but then he remembered he was on job and had to leave 30 min after. 

Today he had to get a set for the... wedding... He gulped and looked up at Pete who came out from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hands, ´´Where are the other guys?´´ Frank asked looking around sleepily, ´´Oh they went home at 1AM´´ Pete said calmy as he sat the mug down. He sat himself down besides Frank. ´´On month till hes onto the next step in life. Crazy right?´´ Pete said quietly afraid of his words. Frank just sighed and nodded understanding his words. ´´Yes.´´

_One Month Later_ 

Frank was looking into the mirror fixing his tie. He looked down at his wrist´s that where bandaged up, he took the sleeves down over them to hide it, if Pete found out about his secret razor in his sockat the bottom of his drawer he would flip out. He didnt wanna ruin Gerard´s wedding, he toom some red eye shadow under his eyes and sat his hair a bit up to the side. Frank smiled whispering softly ´´Thanks for the past Gerard, for the good memories and the bad ones.´´ A single tear rolled down his cheek. He siped his cheek and stepped outside the bathroom door where Ray was standing with his phone. ´´Ready?´´ Ray asked while looking up from his phone, Frank nodded and followed Ray to his car, he got in and looked down at the small gift he was gonna give Gerard and Lindsey, two small silver heart necklaces. He kept looking down at his lap the whole car ride. 

When they arrived Gerard, Mikey and Pete greeted them, when Frank had to hug Gerard he had to push himself to do it, Gerard must have noticed bc he looked worried and confused at Frank after they had pulled away, and then Gerard finally said what Frank had wished he didn´t, ´´Have you met someone yet Frank?´´ Frank felt like where his heart ones where, where just left a black void that sucked everything in. ´´no.´´ Frank said as he pulled himself inside past Pete and Gerard, Pete walked after him, he searched for the bathroom when he walked into a person, ´´sorry´´ he mumbled as he realized he had walked into Brendon, the most caring person ever who immedietly hugged frank into a tight hug, ´´Frank! Hell, why where you in such a hurry?´´ Brendon smiled, Frank didnt dare to look up and sucked some breath in tand made a fake smile and looked up at Brendon, ´´Hey Bren´´ He said pulling away from Brendon´s embrace. 

They talked for a while untill the music started and the people who where in the church haad sat down. This church brang so many memories back, it was the church where they had filmed Helena. How could Gerard move on from the memoriy of this memory, the song they had filmed about the Way´s dead grandma, he made a new .Happy. moment in here. Frank looked down, tears forming in his eyes as he felt the knot fill his throat, he needed to bite the pain down and just let him go. He couldn´t. 

He saw Gerard walk up to the priest where Mikey was there as his bestman. Gerard was smiling and then there. Lindsey walked into the church in a white gorgeous dress. Frank could feel himself look down as the music stopped and Gerard and Lindsey was starring into eachothers eyes.

The Priest spoke: ´´Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Gerard Way and Lindsey Ballato in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace. ´´

Everyone was looking at the priest and the pair. But not Frank, Pete took his hand and hold it close. Frank felt himself breaking apart. Some where looking around, as the priest started to talk again, Frank stood up, to everyone´s suprise even his own. Everyone got silent, every eyes in the church where at Frank. Franks heart was in his throat as he spoke. ´´I´m not gonna ruin your wedding, but I need to get it off my chest.´´ Frank looked directly at Gerard and met his eyes. ´´I have loved Gerard after the first year of knowing him. And I´m sorry for having feelings for him, I´ve ignored it for years, but it has been so painful. Im angry at myself for have gotten jealous, or feeling that joy when we had.. our moments.. even tho they where supossed to mean nothing, it meant something and I just, arh. Im sorry. Bye.´´ The tears was stinging, he looked around at some angry looks and some concerned looks, the angry looks had turned into concerned looks as he noticed the sleeves had fallen to his elbows as he had taken his hands through his hair, he walked first fast to the doors that lead outside, he had fucked up his friends wedding. 

His fault.

He heard his name being shouted, then he started sprinting. Just running away. Away from them, from Him. He heard some steps getting closer as he arrived at the end of a road where there was a cliff with a fence blocking. There was a danger cliff sign besides it. He walked on the other side of the fence.

Do it. A voice said inside him. You´ll never bother anyone anymore, your pain will go away and you´ll be happy in heaven, He´ll be happy with Her. 

Fainted voices where behind him, he was too deep into his thoughts. He was still looking down, out of the cliff, just some endless pain and then it´ll be gone again. Like hitting your little toe on something.

Someone held a hand on Franks shoulder suddenly, he flinched and fell.

There where screams,

but,

the hand had taken his hand and he was slowly getting pulled up again, he knew that hand, that gentle sweet hand. Gerard.

He had already been crying, silently. Now he began sobbing when he arrived up, Gerard was going to hate him forever now.

He crashed one of his friends wedding and he should be dead. Not being held by his oh so amazing friend Gerard while ugly sobbing into his suit shoulder. He shouldn´t have saved him, he should be happy, married, to the perfect woman.

But he did just save him.

´´It´s going to be okay.´´ Gerard said shushing him like a small child, frank held onto Gerard. Not wanting to let go. ´´I´m so sorry. S-so sorry.. why..´´ Frank said slowly and low.. He tried to get himself together, ´´Frank, did you mean all that?´´ Frank nodded slowly and let go of Gerard, ´´I´m sorry I ruined our friendship now, I´ll go home..´´ Frank turned around and noticed Ray, Pete, Mikey, Brendon, Ryan, Tyler, Josh and Patrick standing watching them, he panicked a bit, felt a loud beep sound in his head as he screamed in paina nd felt down on his knees covering his ears. Everything hurted.

He wanted it to stop. He wanted to be normal, with a normal boyfriend or girlfriend, with amybe even kids and be happy. But that wasent a reality. Not here.

The tears streamed down his face. 

And suddenly. Everything stopped, the soft skin he had craved to taste again was right there on his. He looked shocked at Gerard, the beeping didn´t stop from his ears and the tears didnt stop, but they eventually stopped. 

Gerard pulled away and looked at Frank, ´´I tried to move on from you Frank honestly. I pushed you back into my mind, I met Lindsey, fell in love, but not as the love I was feeling for you, I felt relaxed and like I could stare at you all day and just do nothing. But I was selfish for pushing you away, please stop hurting yourself. I love you too Frankie..´´ Gerard was also tearing up. Frank had his hand cupped over Gerards cheek and rubbed the tears away with his thumb..

_5 years later_

´´So why are we here Frankie?´´ Gerard asked Frank while they held hands, ´´remember, It was here It all began. You and Me.´´ Frank smiled, leaning against the fence, looking out at the sunset.

Gerard hummed in response, ´´I love you so much, look at that sunset, beautiful like you.´´ Frank smiled and blushed at the compliment. He was a bit sweaty.

´Frank turned to him and said, ´´Gerard I have loed you for years, even more time than the three years we have been canon. I love your adorable smile, I love you to end of the universe and back again, I love your nerdy attituse and all those comics you make, the music you make, the way you compliment me, the way-´´ Frank snorts and says low, ´´Lol, w a y.´´ ´´- Tjhe way you look at me and the small jokes you make, I love you so so so much, I´d have to ewrite a whole book about what I love about you and give it to you´´  
Frank got down on one knee, ´´It´s dangerous to go alone, take me?´´ he held out a box with a little ring inside.

´´Yes! You doofus!´´ Gerard said tearng up and hugging Frank, kissing him.

They both smiled.


End file.
